My niece's birthday party is tonight. I could not help but think as I was getting in the shower this morning that the party was meant as personal punishment to me! A pool party, now? It is not even summer! I could not help but continue my inner conversation about body image, bathing suits and the hell that is wearing them, into the shower with me. I have not been happy in a bathing suit since I was 10 years old.
When I was in 8th or 9th grade the Drama Club I was a part of planned a wrap party at the YMCA pool. My worst nightmare was coming true. I was fat. It's o.k. to say it, because it is true. My poor saint of a mom, trying to make me feel better and more confident took me to the department store in search of a bathing suit for the party. There was nothing that was going to accentuate and positive so after many tears and tantrums from the dressing room I settled on a yellow suite with a blousie top and a skirt. Yes, a blousie top and a skirt. You may have seen a pregnant woman or member of the AARP in one at your local pool. Bright yellow with accents of black. It was the best I was going to do and at least it covered my belly up some, right. I dreaded that walk to the pool. Everyone could see me. I dreaded that walk back to the locker room.
Throughout the whole party a boy I knew stayed pretty close by chatting and talking about other people. For years after that night he would bring up my yellow bathing suit. I was mortified that he remembered or would bring it up. It was those years later that I realized he liked me. He was looking right at me, yellow bathing suit and all and he liked me. I was ALL OUT THERE and he liked me. It is kind of like your ADOPTION PORTFOLIO/PROFILE. I speak to so many people who have not put theirs together or completed theirs because they hate the way they look in pictures or they think they are too fat or are not pretty enough to be chosen. DON"T BE ME-- DON'T BE THE GIRL IN THE YELLOW BATHING SUIT! See it now! See that you will be chosen. That an expectant mother considering an adoption plan will like you-- will choose you-- FOR YOU! PUT IT ALL OUT THERE-- BE YOU! SHOW YOU! BE HONEST! BE CLEAR! BE ETHICAL!
AND REMEMBER-- expectant parents are looking for people to LOVE AND RAISE THEIR CHILD-- NOT to walk them down a RUNWAY!
When I was in 8th or 9th grade the Drama Club I was a part of planned a wrap party at the YMCA pool. My worst nightmare was coming true. I was fat. It's o.k. to say it, because it is true. My poor saint of a mom, trying to make me feel better and more confident took me to the department store in search of a bathing suit for the party. There was nothing that was going to accentuate and positive so after many tears and tantrums from the dressing room I settled on a yellow suite with a blousie top and a skirt. Yes, a blousie top and a skirt. You may have seen a pregnant woman or member of the AARP in one at your local pool. Bright yellow with accents of black. It was the best I was going to do and at least it covered my belly up some, right. I dreaded that walk to the pool. Everyone could see me. I dreaded that walk back to the locker room.
Throughout the whole party a boy I knew stayed pretty close by chatting and talking about other people. For years after that night he would bring up my yellow bathing suit. I was mortified that he remembered or would bring it up. It was those years later that I realized he liked me. He was looking right at me, yellow bathing suit and all and he liked me. I was ALL OUT THERE and he liked me. It is kind of like your ADOPTION PORTFOLIO/PROFILE. I speak to so many people who have not put theirs together or completed theirs because they hate the way they look in pictures or they think they are too fat or are not pretty enough to be chosen. DON"T BE ME-- DON'T BE THE GIRL IN THE YELLOW BATHING SUIT! See it now! See that you will be chosen. That an expectant mother considering an adoption plan will like you-- will choose you-- FOR YOU! PUT IT ALL OUT THERE-- BE YOU! SHOW YOU! BE HONEST! BE CLEAR! BE ETHICAL!
AND REMEMBER-- expectant parents are looking for people to LOVE AND RAISE THEIR CHILD-- NOT to walk them down a RUNWAY!
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